… “Huddled under an electric blanket in front of the fire—with the Christmas decorations still mocking me from the corner—I researched and wrote.

In those quiet moments, the doubts crept in: Am I trying too hard? Am I doing too much? Will anyone even read this? What if I put in all this effort and it just flops?

The hard truth is, I might fail.

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My son is a great sounding board for my metaphors. He’s used to me "talking in loops" thanks to brain fog—patiently listening while I repeat myself, hoping the message resonates, or laughing as I find deep life lessons in the rules of the road. One of our favorites will always be “There will always be another turn.” In a traffic roundabout, there is nothing but turns. The trick is knowing how to merge over to take your exit. Learning how to escape, otherwise you will be caught up going around and around in an endless loop.

That is the beauty of a healthy relationship with yourself and your family: learning to accept what is possible. It is okay to let the "balls" of traditions drop and let your home be imperfect when life gets heavy. Admitting you can’t do it all. What matters is that I spent this time with my husband as he recovered. Eventually, this season will just be a "remember when" story. I will likely be the only one who remembers what didn't get done, while we laugh together about how we made it through. The beauty of hindsight is that the greater the distance, the smaller the issues appear and the greater the joy remains.

‘Tis the Season of counting our blessings, abundance and singing for joy but I know for many of us Chronic Warriors it also comes with feelings of overwhelm, over exertion and seasonal depression. Prayers and gentle hugs to you my fellow warriors if you find yourself struggling.
I want you to know that I understand. It is hard and I even have times when I struggle with pacing.