I had to admit that I couldn’t do it all

I am a sucker for traditions. Old and New! Blending the cultural traditions of my husbands family and mine, adding in new traditions as our family grew. From cutting down our own Christmas tree to bringing in Christmas with a festive Christmas Eve celebration eating asado and saying a special Cheers at Uruguay’s midnight to honor the country my husbands family immigrated from. During the season I become a Christmas Elf partly because growing up my family name was Noel which literally means Christmas! I make the magic happen, I bring the joy, blasting the Christmas music or playing the movies on a continuous loop while decorating and baking. When you watch a Hallmark movie and see that person who enshrines the holiday spirit in both their decorations and their good nature? Yes, that would be me. My husband sets up the outside decorations. We love to go Christmas shopping together and giving each other gifts early because we are too excited to wait. Even though our kids are older we still have our Elf on The Shelf and watch the classic Christmas movies. I love Christmas and the full spirit of the holiday season.

I do not love the Winter though. The cold weather is a pain trigger so while I am all about creating the joy we know I need to be careful to not get caught up in a pain flare because Christmas isn’t the same when Mom, the Christmas Elf, is hurting and this has been one of the coldest Winters in the past decade. I am doing my best to stay warm and healthy. I still struggled to make the magic happen this year. The week after Thanksgiving, my husband suffered an injury while playing soccer: he ruptured his Achilles tendon. He needed surgery to repair it on December 15th—our 23rd wedding anniversary. I made a joke about that being romantic, celebrating our anniversary while he is in the OR and post op. The reality is, our vow was “in sickness and in health.” Considering all of my health issues and surgeries, then adding in his previous surgeries and this current surgery 23 years to the very day we promised to love each other through it all? Well, I think continuously proving it is pretty damn romantic.

But trying to manage my own health, help a husband who isn’t allowed to put any weight on his foot, and keep up with every holiday tradition... I finally had to admit that I couldn’t do it all. I had to let some balls drop.

I’m not talking about the standard “laundry can wait.” Yes, laundry can wait—and why is it always laundry? I’m talking about the heartbreaking decision to not make the Christmas cookies. To be okay with packages simply wrapped or tossed in gift bags without tissue paper and taped closed. I struggled to finish decorating the inside of the house and eventually settled for it looking "good enough."

I was exhausted—more than my usual chronically ill self. I am not a stranger to health issues, but what I was struggling with was the loss of my support system. Suddenly, I had to step up during a time when I most needed his support, and we don’t have anyone else to rely on. Thankfully our children are older now (thank God this didn’t happen when they were little!) and capable of doing more, but it was still a massive challenge to my mindset.

I know that the cookies and the wrapping don't matter as much to my family as they do to me. The hustle and bustle is meaningless unless you give it meaning. The joy I have for these traditions radiates onto those around me, but that joy has to begin within me. I cannot give what I don’t have. If I don't bake the cookies, they might miss the treat, but they understand it comes from a place of love. They love me enough to not miss the cookie if it means I’m okay.

That is the beauty of a healthy relationship with yourself and your family: learning to accept what is possible. It is okay to let the "balls" of traditions drop and let your home be imperfect when life gets heavy. Admitting you can’t do it all. What matters is that I spent this time with my husband as he recovered. Eventually, this season will just be a "remember when" story. I will likely be the only one who remembers what didn't get done, while we laugh together about how we made it through. The beauty of hindsight is that the greater the distance, the smaller the issues appear and the greater the joy remains.

Moving into 2026, I have my resolutions: to reestablish my systems and develop new routines that fit my evolving lifestyle. More on that in the next blog post …